so, we're cutting it close to my big day! i'll be married in exactly 21 days!!! oh man!! i'm ooberly nervous!! like not so nervous to where i'll jilt my soon to be husband! lol, no never that!! but nervous to where it's all i can talk about, it's all i can think about and it's driving me nuts!!! lol!! but the only downfall to actually being married... is 11 days later jelon leaves for boot camp. that.. i'm not looking forward to at all. i know that i want to get married NOW! so that way we can spend more time being "married" before he leaves. and i don't know why, but i get this feeling that shortly after he gets home from boot camp and his ait training... and we finally get to our duty station... he'll have to deploy! i'm praying and hoping that doesn't happen! but that's the military for ya! so yeah...

in other news... my fiance's father's girlfriend, whom i try so hard to be close friends with is tearing our relationship apart!! she sat here and lied to me in my face!!! she wants things to go her way at MY wedding! i think NOT! she is jealous because jelon's father will be sitting at the same table as jelon's mother. obviously they are divorced, but we'd like everyone to see our roots at one table rather than scattered about with their "other halves". i'm sorry, but it's just not going to happen! she sat here and told me that jelon's father was extremely upset with having to sit next to jelon's mother. so i talked to jelon's dad and he laughed so hard. he told me that's not true. heck, my parents are divorced and are still sitting at the same table!! it's not like we're going to try and portray any of them as a happy married couple. because that would just be a lie! jelon's dad's girlfriend just can't handle for one day things that aren't under her control. well i'm sorry, i'm not one of your children that you push around! you will not be able to manipulate me into letting you sit where you want!! ugh!! this makes me so upset!! she knows that i hate liars! hell i stopped talking to her for almost 6 months because of all the crap she tries to pull. this lady thinks she's a real bullshitter!! well i'm sorry, you can't bullshit a bullshitter!! yes, i took that from the movie role models. but it's the truth! and this is a quote that i'm living by with this woman: "don't play the game with a girl who can play better!" it's the damn truth! just for that, i'm putting her in the very last row in the building!

and that's that. there's no changing my mind!

So yeah, I'm really bored.  And I thought that since Shalamar still uses this every now and then I'd give it a try again! haha 

Lately I've been having "best friend" issues.  You see, there's this girl Jessica, she's one of the many Jessica's that I know.... LOL and she's so selfish.  She always worries about her her her... and I hate that.  Bcuz when I need her to be there for me and fulfill her "best friend" status she never does!  I can't stand that.  So yeah, she wants me to call her and talk things out!  Um, I've been dealing with her shit for 3 years!!  And she has the nerve to tell me that she's always walkin on egg shells so she won't hurt my feelings!?  I think it's the other way around!!  Everything has to be about her!!  When I call her to VENT, all she does is take over the conversation and start talking about her and her b/f problems.  Then when we're finally done talking I'm still pissed n stressed bcuz I didn't get to talk at all!!  UGH!  Then she always goes back on her word and changes the fucking story!!  She and I used to be friends with a girl named Briana.  Well Jessica lied to me and made me believe that Briana aka B was lying to me about things, well B wasn't!!  Jessica was the liar the WHOLE time!!  So now that B and I are on great terms again Jessica wants to come into the circle and try n talk to B again.  Well this just in, B doesn't wanna be your friend Jessica!!  I'm so mad at her, I don't know if I should call her at all.  She said that if I don't call then she'll know that we shouldn't be friends anymore.  And I've been talking to some friends lately, and they've made me realize that I've been dealing with her shit for way too long!!  So if anyone's reading this... gimme some advice...

Stay friends.... or is that just enough?

Help....